October, that's a wrap!

It's Wednesday but I'm "wrapping up" my busy week. My parents have been here a week and leave tomorrow. Thursday was Bailey's Halloween party at school. Friday was Halloween. Our ball was Monday. Doesn't sound like a lot but it felt super busy! 

Bailey's Halloween party was fun! I was on the Mom comity to set up and break down which I love! I signed up for every holiday party, of course ;-) 

 Spooky snacks! I made the cheese stick brooms and the ghost bananas.

One of the crafts was decorating picture frames. I took all the kids photos in front of a back drop. :) 

   

Bailey's finished frame! 

 They played pass the pumpkin.

The other craft was Frankenstein hand prints! 

That night we finally carved our pumpkins after the babies went to bed! 

 Halloween was lots of fun! We attempted to get all the kids in one photo and got most of them but still missing a few. We have such a large group it's a hard task!

 I dressed up this year! I've missed dressing up the past few years!

 Patrick literally pulled up from work right as we were leaving to Trick-Or-Treat. He almost missed it. Glad he made it!

 Taking pictures of Peyton and Brooke was almost impossible. We should have started earlier in the day before all the neighbors were out but didn't have our act together in time. These were the best pics we got! Snow White and Tinkerbell.

Bailey was Princess Aurora.

The last big event of the week was the Ball. I look forward to the ball every year. I love getting dressed up and spending a night away with my hubby. This year I woke up the morning before with my eye all swollen. I went straight to urgent care instead of waiting for it to go down on it's own. The Dr. said it may have been a bite or something. It was my eye lid not inside my eye. She prescribed some antibiotic drops. It was still quite swollen and painful by ball time. I was so bummed. I couldn't wear eyeliner so I made do with some mascara and plum eyeshadow but I think I covered it pretty well. By the end of the night though it hurt so bad I just wanted to go to sleep! 

 

Welcome home Adam!

Today one of my best friends got her hubby back after an 8 1/2 month deployment! I went with her and took photos! We went through our last deployment together so all day I couldn't help but feel like Patrick should be coming home too. I just love homecomings! If I get into photography more in the future I will definitely go to homecomings and take photos just for fun! Such a happy experience! 

 SO so happy for them!! 

In other news, I found a babysitter!! Woo hoo!! She was supposed to start on Monday but the girls have colds so we have to wait until next week now but yay! No more searching! 

Here is a little of what we've been up the last week or so...

 Bouncy house for Chloe's birthday. The girls loved it! 

 Lots of outside play! 

 Super sassy girls eating their fave! Pasta with alfredo. 

 TICKLE PARTY!! They all love to be tickled!! 

 Playdate! 

Attempted photos with their pumpkins but it was more chasing them around!

I love these sweet girls more than anything in the world! 

<3<3<3<3

 

 We have a busy busy week ahead! My parents are getting in tomorrow to help with the kids for all of the business. :-)

It's a Thursday

This morning I was up before my kids. Say Whaaat! They always pick mornings that I have to get up to sleep in. It was a school morning for Bailey so I had to get everyone up and fed and ready to go. 

Kayla came over while Bailey was at school and we started working on homecoming signs for her hubby! The two hours between getting home and leaving to get Bailey always flies. We had planned to catch up on SVU also but not enough time. She stayed with my nappers while I ran to get Bails and some lunch! 

Bailey was quite busy playing in her room and Peyton needed an afternoon nap so it was just Mommy and Brookie for a while. She loves those times :-) I do too. 

 We played outside for a while in the afternoon and I interviewed another sitter. I had one interview yesterday and another tomorrow. This is a little stressful! 

  

The little girlies are wearing Bailey's old pj's tonight and I was trying to take a pic but climbing on Daddy was too much fun so this is as good as it got! Bailey spent the evening at Chloe's eating lots of birthday cake! 

After all the kiddos were asleep I went to print some photos and stopped by Lowe's foods that just opened this week. I love new stores, I feel like I'm out of town! 

I'm super sleepy, I should go to bed. 

And the search is on

I spent the majority of today setting up interviews with babysitters. I posted a job on care.com and got a lot of responses. I'm excited but nervous. The idea of hiring a stranger to care for my kids scares me! I feel like we need someone though from time to time and to keep them familiar with the kids I am planning once a week while Bailey's in school. Interviews start tomorrow, wish me luck!

Today was a school day for Bailey. That little monkey was up at 6 this morning. I am dreading the time change next month! All 3 girls have been waking around 6 lately which means 5 when we fall back. Not cool! 

We were home pretty much all day. I was so sleepy! We ran to Panera around 3 for a cookie and caffeine fix but that didn't help, I was still sleepy! It was kind of stormy out this evening so we stayed inside and Patrick was late getting home so the girls and I played. Brooke was walking around so much today!! She would walk across the room and as she got close to where she was headed she started clapping for herself with the biggest grin! I wish I had gotten a video, it was adorable!! She was so proud of herself! 

 The closer we got to baby bedtime they got crazy! Haha. Both babies were climbing on me and fighting for my lap so Little People to the rescue! I got out Bailey's little people house and it was Mommy who! I slowly backed up into the kitchen and kept quiet while they played. I love watching them play all together! I also love watching Bailey's love for the little girls grow. She wants them to play with her all day. She never wants me to put them down for naps. She LOVES when they snuggle with her on the floor in the mornings. It's so sweet. <3

My favorite time of year!

October is always my favorite time of year. I love the fall colors, the weather change and all the pumpkins! This year is harder but I'm trying to still enjoy it. 

Every time I look at my blog I love reading my posts from Patrick's deployment. I think mostly because I updated everyday. I love that. There are so many little things I forget over time and it's fun to look back and remember! I am going to try to start daily updates again. For myself but also for anyone interested :-) 

Peyton and Brooke are the same age Bailey was when Patrick deployed so reading what things we did gives me ideas of things to do now. 

So we'll start with this weekend. Saturday we went to Mike's Farm with Kayla, Aaden and Blake. We ran into some of our other neighbors also and some Wilmington friends. It was PACKED! We go every year but we must always go on weekdays! We waited quite a while for the hay ride. We put our name down for dinner and they quoted a 4 1/2 hour wait! We didn't wait for dinner, we ended up leaving after the kids played on the big bounce house/slide that was set up. Patrick and the kids and I came straight home because the little girls were not so happy! We got home right before a crazy strom came out of nowhere! The girls had a quick dinner (carrots, waffles, and something else I can't remember) and went straight to bed! 

 

Yesterday, Sunday, Bailey went to MaLena's to play in the morning then they came over to our house to play and were here most of the day. Brookie and I went grocery shopping then back to watch football. I baked cupcakes in the afternoon and we took them out to share after dinner. Kind of a lazy day! 

 Trying to keep them busy so I could cook dinner!

 Today is Columbus Day. Patrick went hunting with one of our neighbors and the girls and I have been playing. We went to Kohls to use out Kohl's cash and back home. The baby girls are napping and Bailey is at Chloe's for a play date. I am watching SVU and blogging! Some unexpected Me time, love it! It's about 4:30pm now. I should cook while they're napping but I expect them up any minute! 

Yep, we look like summer today! As much as I LOVE fall and fall clothes I just can't do it when it's 80 degrees! Way too hot for all the cute fall clothes they have! The dresses the babies are wearing were both Bailey's! I love when they can wear her hand me downs. 

Time to cook dinner and do some laundry! 

 

Preschool and ONE year olds

Last week was a big week!

 Bailey started Preschool on Tuesday and Peyton and Brooke turned one on Wednesday! Although it was also a hard week missing Andrew it was an exciting week for the girls! 

Bailey loves school! She goes two half days a week. I drive up and the teacher comes out and gets her from the car! That was one of the selling feathers for me on this school! So far, she has enjoyed every school day! I'm so excited for her! 

My parents came in on Tuesday night to spend the birthday week with us. On Wednesday we had cupcakes and opened a few presents and spent time just playing with our birthday girls. Peyton wasn't feeling well the whole day but Brooke had a BLAST! She was in the best mood all day and loved every part of the celebration! 

On the weekend, the rest of our family and Melissa came up from FL. We had a big party at the park for the girls with a lot of our friends. It was emotional but a lot of fun. We sent up balloons for Andrew. The girls were so spoiled by everyone. 

I can't believe they are one! This year has been a whirlwind. So many happy times and smiles, a lot of stress and exhaustion and.. losing Andrew. The worst pain we've ever experienced. I'm still very numb I think. I keep putting one foot in front of the other but when I stop for too long it hurts so bad. I want so much to rewind time and have him here. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I realized as I started this entry that I did not take the girls photos with their 12 month stickers. I will do that this weekend! A week late is better than not at all right! 

We are almost done with bottles! It's a little bitter/sweet. I thought I would be so excited but I'm a little sad. Right now they take about 6 ounces in the morning and 2-4 oz at bedtime. We've cut the middle of the day bottles. They're not loving milk yet so I don't want to drop the other two until they are drinking some milk!  They are eating 3 meals and 2 snacks a day which is kind of like 5 meals as they love to eat! The favorite foods are cheese sandwiches, french toast sticks, pancakes, bananas, carrots, green beans, baby fruit snacks, the little gerber cheese puff snacks in different flavors, pasta with alfredo or mac 'n' cheese,  Peyton loves fruits like, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, pears, etc. Brooke does not care for those although she will eat a little some times. I keep trying. Brookie loves the veggies!

They're still napping twice a day. 9/9:30am and 1/1:30 pm. Naps last between 1-2 hours most days. Brooke has refused one nap a day here and there lately but she'll end up crashing in the car later in the day if we're out or getting super grumpy in the last hour before bedtime. 

Our schedule isn't as strict as it has always been but we stay pretty close still. They wake between 7-8 and have a bottle. Breakfast between 8-8:30 depending on when they woke up. Snack when they wake from nap and lunch 12:30/1 or straight to lunch at noon if they take a longer nap. They snack again around 3 after the second nap, dinner between 5-6 and another small bottle at 6:45/7 and bed at 7.

::Peyton::

weight: 20 lbs, 4 oz

height: just shy of 30 inches

clothes: 12 months

 diaper: size 4 

 Peyton is oh so close to walking! She has such great balance and stands all the time. She will take one step then drop and crawl to what she wants. She has 4 teeth and is working on another. This girl takes some time to warm up to people and somewhat freaks out if she gets too close to someone holding her before she's ready but once she's around you a little bit she comes around! She loves food! Man o man can she eat! She is saying Mama and Dada and waving and clapping. She will imitate other sounds and words we say. She loves shoes. She tries to put them on her feet and does not want help. She LOVES her blankie and blankies in general. She will hold them to her face and tilt her head to snuggle. She gets that bows go in her hair and will hold them up, wash cloths are for her face, her toothbrush goes in her mouth, etc. She loves music. 

::Brooke::

weight: 20 lbs, 4 oz

height: 29 3/4 inches

clothes: 12 months

diaper: 4

Brookie boo is so laid back. She has the calmest personality in the house. She is so smiley! She takes to most everyone right away. Everyone tries to sneak her in their purse when they leave. She also loves eating! She is saying Mama and Dada, waving, and claps when she wants to. She does not like having bows in her hair but her hair is touching her eyes now so she has to wear ponies! She will mess with it but will leave it alone longer than a bow! Like sissy, she loves her blankie! She loves to walk holding our hands. She walks on her toes and walks fast! I don't think she's quite ready to walk on her own yet. 

 

 

Heaven gained a sweet little Angel

We lost our sweet boy last week. We knew from day 1 of his little life that he would need an open heart surgery to repair his heart. The cardiologist had planned on waiting until he was two but then decided sooner was better and we scheduled for August 5th. We went in at 6:30am, they took him back around 7:30 and said it would be about 8 hours. We did not hear a word all day until 6:45pm when I got a phone call from the nurse saying they would be moving him to PICU soon. The surgeons came out a little later and told us how great the surgery went and that he is on a temporary pacemaker but they hope within a week or so he won't need it. They said we could go back to see him in about 20 mins. I started calling to go back after the 20 mins and was told every time that he wasn't situated yet. After almost two hours we were getting very upset. Finally someone came out and told us that she couldn't tell us anything but that there were several doctors, nurses and surgeons in his room working on him and they would have someone that could talk to us come out soon. A little while later a nurse came out with a chapin and I don't remember what she said exactly as it's all a blur now but she explained that he flat lined and that they had to reopen his chest and were doing CPR. I know I called my mom, paced the halls, sat in the chair crying for a while and then a doctor came out. He was the on call cardiologist that was called in. He said they did CPR for over an hour and that he is now on an ECMO machine which is a machine that does the work of the heart when the heart can't. A little later the surgeon that performed the surgery came out and said that the good news is he is alive but the bad news is they are very concerned about his brain. She said by doing CPR for so long it is possible he sustained brain damage. At this point it was 12:45am and we just wanted to see him. She took us back. He was just laying there with so many tubes and wires. I cried and cried. His chest was open with just a clear sterile dressing. I slept a little in the chair next to his bed. Over the next few days he was stable. They had to go back in his chest twice, once to put another tube and again to stop some bleeding. He was heavily sedated and had to be while on ECMO. Once off ECMO they would come off the sedation some and he would respond a little. On Sunday afternoon the nurse showed some concern that his pupils were large and not responding to the light. Monday morning they woke me as they were taking him to get a CT scan. It showed some swelling and fluid but they said they were upping his sodium to help pull off the fluid. Throughout the day he didn't respond at all. They turned off the sedation meds off at 6:20pm and said he should respond within a couple hours. Nothing. Hours went by and he wasn't waking at all. They came in and hooked him back up to the EEG and I watched as she put the leads on one by one and on the screen the lines went flat one by one. I knew. The nurses called my friend Meredith who lived near by to come sit with me. Patrick had gone home for the day to take care of a couple things at work. They called him too. The doctor came in and explained that with the CPR and lack of oxygen they were afraid of this but as the week went by he was responding some but now with no response they believe he is brain dead. They said they will re-check in 12 hours and then again to be sure. I watched each test and he didn't respond to anything. During the day on Tuesday we got to hold him. A photographer came and photographed us with him. They came in and took his hand prints and foot prints and made a picture frame, a pillow case, and a canvas. I went numb. I had cried more than I've ever cried before. We had him baptized. Our families came. My Mom, Patrick's parents and Priscila all came in to see him. My Dad and sister couldn't come in. At 9:22pm on Tuesday night, August 12th he was pronounced brain dead. He was gone. We held him one more time and then left the hospital without him.

This is not real. I keep expecting to wake up and realize it was all a terrible dream. I miss him. On Friday, Patrick and I went to Wilmington and planned his funeral, and picked out his grave site. They kept asking questions and our answer was always 'I don't know'. We had never put one thought into funerals for our kids we expected them to bury us. That's how it's supposed to be not this way. On Saturday, 70-80 people showed up to his funeral. People I hadn't seen in years, all of our closest local friends, a lot of Marines, and a handful of our best friends from FL, and my Mom's friends from VA and KY. None of it felt real. Everyone kept hugging me and telling me how sorry they are. I couldn't cry. I was cried out I think and still very numb. I saw him laying there and that made me cry. I stood in one spot the whole visitation. I couldn't move. The service part was very short and then we got in our car and drove to the cemetery. It started storming and pouring rain as we arrived. This part also felt short and then everyone came through and hugged us again and said how sorry they were. I just wanted to leave. 

It's been a week in a half since we left the hospital and 5 days since the funeral. I'm still numb but have to keep moving forward with life. We have three beautiful little girls that need a happy Mommy and Daddy. My parents are still here for another few days and we're trying our best to be ourselves and are trying to get back into life. For now I am keeping my mind and self busy with planning and projects. I function best when I'm busy. 

This was the last photo we took with our little guy the night before surgery. I took photos throughout the week to document his journey so I could show him later in life. I had no idea at the time these would be the last photos I would have of him. So glad I took them! 

I will most likely never understand why he was only with us for 11 months but I'm so glad he was. 

A friend found this quote and I love it. 

 "Not all triplets walk side by side, sometimes one has wings to fly"