And the search is on

I spent the majority of today setting up interviews with babysitters. I posted a job on care.com and got a lot of responses. I'm excited but nervous. The idea of hiring a stranger to care for my kids scares me! I feel like we need someone though from time to time and to keep them familiar with the kids I am planning once a week while Bailey's in school. Interviews start tomorrow, wish me luck!

Today was a school day for Bailey. That little monkey was up at 6 this morning. I am dreading the time change next month! All 3 girls have been waking around 6 lately which means 5 when we fall back. Not cool! 

We were home pretty much all day. I was so sleepy! We ran to Panera around 3 for a cookie and caffeine fix but that didn't help, I was still sleepy! It was kind of stormy out this evening so we stayed inside and Patrick was late getting home so the girls and I played. Brooke was walking around so much today!! She would walk across the room and as she got close to where she was headed she started clapping for herself with the biggest grin! I wish I had gotten a video, it was adorable!! She was so proud of herself! 

 The closer we got to baby bedtime they got crazy! Haha. Both babies were climbing on me and fighting for my lap so Little People to the rescue! I got out Bailey's little people house and it was Mommy who! I slowly backed up into the kitchen and kept quiet while they played. I love watching them play all together! I also love watching Bailey's love for the little girls grow. She wants them to play with her all day. She never wants me to put them down for naps. She LOVES when they snuggle with her on the floor in the mornings. It's so sweet. <3

My favorite time of year!

October is always my favorite time of year. I love the fall colors, the weather change and all the pumpkins! This year is harder but I'm trying to still enjoy it. 

Every time I look at my blog I love reading my posts from Patrick's deployment. I think mostly because I updated everyday. I love that. There are so many little things I forget over time and it's fun to look back and remember! I am going to try to start daily updates again. For myself but also for anyone interested :-) 

Peyton and Brooke are the same age Bailey was when Patrick deployed so reading what things we did gives me ideas of things to do now. 

So we'll start with this weekend. Saturday we went to Mike's Farm with Kayla, Aaden and Blake. We ran into some of our other neighbors also and some Wilmington friends. It was PACKED! We go every year but we must always go on weekdays! We waited quite a while for the hay ride. We put our name down for dinner and they quoted a 4 1/2 hour wait! We didn't wait for dinner, we ended up leaving after the kids played on the big bounce house/slide that was set up. Patrick and the kids and I came straight home because the little girls were not so happy! We got home right before a crazy strom came out of nowhere! The girls had a quick dinner (carrots, waffles, and something else I can't remember) and went straight to bed! 

 

Yesterday, Sunday, Bailey went to MaLena's to play in the morning then they came over to our house to play and were here most of the day. Brookie and I went grocery shopping then back to watch football. I baked cupcakes in the afternoon and we took them out to share after dinner. Kind of a lazy day! 

 Trying to keep them busy so I could cook dinner!

 Today is Columbus Day. Patrick went hunting with one of our neighbors and the girls and I have been playing. We went to Kohls to use out Kohl's cash and back home. The baby girls are napping and Bailey is at Chloe's for a play date. I am watching SVU and blogging! Some unexpected Me time, love it! It's about 4:30pm now. I should cook while they're napping but I expect them up any minute! 

Yep, we look like summer today! As much as I LOVE fall and fall clothes I just can't do it when it's 80 degrees! Way too hot for all the cute fall clothes they have! The dresses the babies are wearing were both Bailey's! I love when they can wear her hand me downs. 

Time to cook dinner and do some laundry! 

 

Preschool and ONE year olds

Last week was a big week!

 Bailey started Preschool on Tuesday and Peyton and Brooke turned one on Wednesday! Although it was also a hard week missing Andrew it was an exciting week for the girls! 

Bailey loves school! She goes two half days a week. I drive up and the teacher comes out and gets her from the car! That was one of the selling feathers for me on this school! So far, she has enjoyed every school day! I'm so excited for her! 

My parents came in on Tuesday night to spend the birthday week with us. On Wednesday we had cupcakes and opened a few presents and spent time just playing with our birthday girls. Peyton wasn't feeling well the whole day but Brooke had a BLAST! She was in the best mood all day and loved every part of the celebration! 

On the weekend, the rest of our family and Melissa came up from FL. We had a big party at the park for the girls with a lot of our friends. It was emotional but a lot of fun. We sent up balloons for Andrew. The girls were so spoiled by everyone. 

I can't believe they are one! This year has been a whirlwind. So many happy times and smiles, a lot of stress and exhaustion and.. losing Andrew. The worst pain we've ever experienced. I'm still very numb I think. I keep putting one foot in front of the other but when I stop for too long it hurts so bad. I want so much to rewind time and have him here. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I realized as I started this entry that I did not take the girls photos with their 12 month stickers. I will do that this weekend! A week late is better than not at all right! 

We are almost done with bottles! It's a little bitter/sweet. I thought I would be so excited but I'm a little sad. Right now they take about 6 ounces in the morning and 2-4 oz at bedtime. We've cut the middle of the day bottles. They're not loving milk yet so I don't want to drop the other two until they are drinking some milk!  They are eating 3 meals and 2 snacks a day which is kind of like 5 meals as they love to eat! The favorite foods are cheese sandwiches, french toast sticks, pancakes, bananas, carrots, green beans, baby fruit snacks, the little gerber cheese puff snacks in different flavors, pasta with alfredo or mac 'n' cheese,  Peyton loves fruits like, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, oranges, pears, etc. Brooke does not care for those although she will eat a little some times. I keep trying. Brookie loves the veggies!

They're still napping twice a day. 9/9:30am and 1/1:30 pm. Naps last between 1-2 hours most days. Brooke has refused one nap a day here and there lately but she'll end up crashing in the car later in the day if we're out or getting super grumpy in the last hour before bedtime. 

Our schedule isn't as strict as it has always been but we stay pretty close still. They wake between 7-8 and have a bottle. Breakfast between 8-8:30 depending on when they woke up. Snack when they wake from nap and lunch 12:30/1 or straight to lunch at noon if they take a longer nap. They snack again around 3 after the second nap, dinner between 5-6 and another small bottle at 6:45/7 and bed at 7.

::Peyton::

weight: 20 lbs, 4 oz

height: just shy of 30 inches

clothes: 12 months

 diaper: size 4 

 Peyton is oh so close to walking! She has such great balance and stands all the time. She will take one step then drop and crawl to what she wants. She has 4 teeth and is working on another. This girl takes some time to warm up to people and somewhat freaks out if she gets too close to someone holding her before she's ready but once she's around you a little bit she comes around! She loves food! Man o man can she eat! She is saying Mama and Dada and waving and clapping. She will imitate other sounds and words we say. She loves shoes. She tries to put them on her feet and does not want help. She LOVES her blankie and blankies in general. She will hold them to her face and tilt her head to snuggle. She gets that bows go in her hair and will hold them up, wash cloths are for her face, her toothbrush goes in her mouth, etc. She loves music. 

::Brooke::

weight: 20 lbs, 4 oz

height: 29 3/4 inches

clothes: 12 months

diaper: 4

Brookie boo is so laid back. She has the calmest personality in the house. She is so smiley! She takes to most everyone right away. Everyone tries to sneak her in their purse when they leave. She also loves eating! She is saying Mama and Dada, waving, and claps when she wants to. She does not like having bows in her hair but her hair is touching her eyes now so she has to wear ponies! She will mess with it but will leave it alone longer than a bow! Like sissy, she loves her blankie! She loves to walk holding our hands. She walks on her toes and walks fast! I don't think she's quite ready to walk on her own yet. 

 

 

Heaven gained a sweet little Angel

We lost our sweet boy last week. We knew from day 1 of his little life that he would need an open heart surgery to repair his heart. The cardiologist had planned on waiting until he was two but then decided sooner was better and we scheduled for August 5th. We went in at 6:30am, they took him back around 7:30 and said it would be about 8 hours. We did not hear a word all day until 6:45pm when I got a phone call from the nurse saying they would be moving him to PICU soon. The surgeons came out a little later and told us how great the surgery went and that he is on a temporary pacemaker but they hope within a week or so he won't need it. They said we could go back to see him in about 20 mins. I started calling to go back after the 20 mins and was told every time that he wasn't situated yet. After almost two hours we were getting very upset. Finally someone came out and told us that she couldn't tell us anything but that there were several doctors, nurses and surgeons in his room working on him and they would have someone that could talk to us come out soon. A little while later a nurse came out with a chapin and I don't remember what she said exactly as it's all a blur now but she explained that he flat lined and that they had to reopen his chest and were doing CPR. I know I called my mom, paced the halls, sat in the chair crying for a while and then a doctor came out. He was the on call cardiologist that was called in. He said they did CPR for over an hour and that he is now on an ECMO machine which is a machine that does the work of the heart when the heart can't. A little later the surgeon that performed the surgery came out and said that the good news is he is alive but the bad news is they are very concerned about his brain. She said by doing CPR for so long it is possible he sustained brain damage. At this point it was 12:45am and we just wanted to see him. She took us back. He was just laying there with so many tubes and wires. I cried and cried. His chest was open with just a clear sterile dressing. I slept a little in the chair next to his bed. Over the next few days he was stable. They had to go back in his chest twice, once to put another tube and again to stop some bleeding. He was heavily sedated and had to be while on ECMO. Once off ECMO they would come off the sedation some and he would respond a little. On Sunday afternoon the nurse showed some concern that his pupils were large and not responding to the light. Monday morning they woke me as they were taking him to get a CT scan. It showed some swelling and fluid but they said they were upping his sodium to help pull off the fluid. Throughout the day he didn't respond at all. They turned off the sedation meds off at 6:20pm and said he should respond within a couple hours. Nothing. Hours went by and he wasn't waking at all. They came in and hooked him back up to the EEG and I watched as she put the leads on one by one and on the screen the lines went flat one by one. I knew. The nurses called my friend Meredith who lived near by to come sit with me. Patrick had gone home for the day to take care of a couple things at work. They called him too. The doctor came in and explained that with the CPR and lack of oxygen they were afraid of this but as the week went by he was responding some but now with no response they believe he is brain dead. They said they will re-check in 12 hours and then again to be sure. I watched each test and he didn't respond to anything. During the day on Tuesday we got to hold him. A photographer came and photographed us with him. They came in and took his hand prints and foot prints and made a picture frame, a pillow case, and a canvas. I went numb. I had cried more than I've ever cried before. We had him baptized. Our families came. My Mom, Patrick's parents and Priscila all came in to see him. My Dad and sister couldn't come in. At 9:22pm on Tuesday night, August 12th he was pronounced brain dead. He was gone. We held him one more time and then left the hospital without him.

This is not real. I keep expecting to wake up and realize it was all a terrible dream. I miss him. On Friday, Patrick and I went to Wilmington and planned his funeral, and picked out his grave site. They kept asking questions and our answer was always 'I don't know'. We had never put one thought into funerals for our kids we expected them to bury us. That's how it's supposed to be not this way. On Saturday, 70-80 people showed up to his funeral. People I hadn't seen in years, all of our closest local friends, a lot of Marines, and a handful of our best friends from FL, and my Mom's friends from VA and KY. None of it felt real. Everyone kept hugging me and telling me how sorry they are. I couldn't cry. I was cried out I think and still very numb. I saw him laying there and that made me cry. I stood in one spot the whole visitation. I couldn't move. The service part was very short and then we got in our car and drove to the cemetery. It started storming and pouring rain as we arrived. This part also felt short and then everyone came through and hugged us again and said how sorry they were. I just wanted to leave. 

It's been a week in a half since we left the hospital and 5 days since the funeral. I'm still numb but have to keep moving forward with life. We have three beautiful little girls that need a happy Mommy and Daddy. My parents are still here for another few days and we're trying our best to be ourselves and are trying to get back into life. For now I am keeping my mind and self busy with planning and projects. I function best when I'm busy. 

This was the last photo we took with our little guy the night before surgery. I took photos throughout the week to document his journey so I could show him later in life. I had no idea at the time these would be the last photos I would have of him. So glad I took them! 

I will most likely never understand why he was only with us for 11 months but I'm so glad he was. 

A friend found this quote and I love it. 

 "Not all triplets walk side by side, sometimes one has wings to fly" 

Babies at 10 months!

Who's 10 months? 

We are!!

What busy bees these littles are! With everyone crawling so well now they are all over the place! Our living room  playroom with couches is fully gated in now and they don't love it but it's the only way to keep everyone in one room! I open the gate some days when I'm in the kitchen and they love it but Peyton has already figured out how to climb up on Bailey's picnic table which is so not safe! 

Everyone is still taking four 7-8 ounces bottles a day and eating 3 meals a day. Two of the meals are still baby food and/or yogurt and some finger foods. Just tonight, for dinner they had their first cheese sandwich and some baked beans! We had our first family meal at the table together! It was fun! They did great and all loved the sandwich! Andrew did not like the beans..

I had to give him another bite to catch his reaction. Patrick thought that was mean but who knows, he could have liked it the second time right!? My thoughts exactly.

::Peyton:: 
Weight: 
Height: 
Clothes: 9 and 12 months depends on the brand
Diaper: 4
 Peyton's newest trick is clapping! Vovo was here last week and in the mornings while I slept in she would sing Happy Birthday with the babies and clap. Peyton started clapping after a few days! She's ready for her B-day party now! She is occasionally standing up without holding anything but only for a second.. still working on balance. She can climb up on Bailey's picnic table which is one of the many reasons we have the living room gated now. She has 1 tooth on the bottom and a second almost in! She loves baths! 

 ::Brooke::
Weight:
Height:
Clothes: 9 months and some 12 
Diaper: 4
Brookie is crawling now!! She is pulling up to her knees and also just sitting up on her knees in the middle of the floor. It's seriously cute how she sits, She waves her hands around and makes noises. Hard to explain but adorable! She also has one tooth on the bottom and another starting to come up. This girl can put away some food. She is great at feeding herself (as are P and A) and eats fast! She will be on her second or third helping while everyone else works on the first! Brooke is not a fan of baths. I don't know why but as soon as I put water on her head she starts to cry :( 

::Andrew:: 
Weight: 
Height: 
Clothes: Mostly 12 months now but still some 9 mos
Diaper: 4 
Andrew is crawling too!! He's pulling up to his knees as well. He is getting a tooth on the bottom but it isn't quite through yet. The spitting up is getting better! Yay! He is feeding himself finger foods but doesn't like a lot of things I think it's a texture thing for him. We'll see. He doesn't love baths but doesn't seem to hate them either! 

The only one that smiled for pics :-) 

 
  10 month pictures were much harder than normal! No one was interested... at least not in me! 

9 months!

The babies are 9 months! 

In some ways it feels like these little munchies should be 5 by now but in other ways it feels like they were just born and I can't believe 9 months have gone by! Days are long but the weeks and months seem to fly. Our schedule is always changing. As of this week it looks something like this...

Wake up around 6:30-7am

7am- bottle. I'm trying to push this to 7:30 with hopes of 8:00 eventually

9am- Solids. Usually fruit with cereal mixed in

9:45/10am- Nap. This lasts anywhere from 1-2 hours

12:00- bottle. Still 8oz

1:00- Solid. Usually yogurt

1:45/2- Nap. 1-3 hours. It really varies. 

4:00- Bottle

5 or 6ish or whenever we eat dinner they have a little of what we're eating or some more baby food. 

7/7:15- bottle and bed. 

We have 9 month well check's next week so I'll add weight and heights then! 

::Peyton:: 

Weight: 19.1 lbs

Height: 27.7 inches

Clothes: 9 months and still a few 6-9 things 

Diaper: 4

 Peyton is on the go big time! She has been crawling for a month or so now and doesn't stay still for long! She is pulling up on everything now too and loves to stand. She is a hard core Mama's girl just like big sis and screams when I leave the room or if she hears my voice and I'm not close enough to her. Most mornings I have her and Bailey in my lap while the other two play. She is saying Mama, Dada, Baba, etc but mostly just making the sounds although I think she is understanding who Mama is! She is still very entertained by Bailey and just laughs and laughs at her. She has the cutest little laugh/squeal when she's excited. She's the most vocal of the group for sure! Because she's more mobile than everyone else I have to watch.. she'll go take toys or bottles away and take off with them leaving a screaming sibling behind. They all do it but can't move away as fast as this girl. She has two little white dots on her top gums so I keep expecting to see teeth pop though soon! 

 ::Brooke::

Weight: 18.9 lbs

Height: 27.4 inches

Clothes: 9 months and some 6-9 

Diaper: 4

Brookie is seriously just the sweetest thing ever. She is always just so patient and relaxed. She is SO close to crawling but just not quite there yet. She tries so hard! She is doing an army crawl of sorts to get where she wants to go and then she gets up on her hands and knees and rocks then puts her feet and hands on the ground and sticks her butt in the air. Maybe she'll just skip traditional crawling and go straight to walking! She is just so content to stay in one spot to play I honestly think she just doesn't feel the need to go. She sits great but still isn't transitioning from laying to sitting. Loves being on her tummy still. Her hair is long enough to wear bows without headbands! They don't stay in for long but it's so fun! 

 

::Andrew::

Weight: 19.1 lbs

Height: 27.5 inches

Clothes: 9 months and moving into 12

Diaper: 4

 Andrew is a silly little dude! He rolls super fast to get around and is starting to get on his hands and knees some also but hasn't made any forward movement yet. He isn't sitting very well yet. We will be having a consult to see if he needs physical therapy. He's starting to sit some though so he may just be taking his time! He, like his sisters finds Bailey super funny! He hasn't been big on sleeping through the night lately, he ends up in the pack n play in our room most nights so he doesn't wake the girls. He's still spitting up A LOT. He was switched to soy formula but it doesn't seem to make much difference so hoping to come up with a new plan at his well check next week. His heart surgery has been scheduled for August 5th. I'm ready to get it over with and be on the other side!

 Nine month photos didn't go as well as some months.. no one was all that interested!

Everyone is a big fan of baby yogurt and baby food fruits. We're working on veggies and meats now, they're doing better! The girls like to eat bites of our foods but so far Andrew isn't interested. The girls also like puffs and can self feed! All are using sippy cups! They drink water at meal times. Brooke is awesome with her cup! She picks it up, holds it and drinks! Peyton is the least interested but when we hold it for her she'll drink some. Andrew can do his by himself but usually ends up playing more than drinking but he drinks some too! We're using the munchkin brand weighted straw sippies.  

We gated off our living room this month to keep Peyton in. It looks like a big play room now. We started using their big kid car seats sometime in the last month or so and love them! We're looking forward to them being able to face forward so we can put all three across the back row and make it easier to get everyone in and out! For now I have a system of moving one baby to Bailey's seat when she gets out and sits in the front while I get the other out and then no one is left in the parking lot alone! I prefer to go out with Patrick though to make life way easier for everyone! 

In other news.. Bailey started Ballet class this week and loves it!! She wasn't shy at all like I expected. I was prepared to walk her in and have her be all clingy but nope, when they opened the door she just ran in with the other girls and didn't even say bye or look back! That gives me hope that preschool won't be as I expect either. 

 

 

Zoom!

Where do my days go?! I seriously feel like they zoom by yet some days feel like forever long. All of my kiddos are growing so fast! I'm always exhausted. 

Babies are approaching 9 months and I haven't done 7 or 8 month updates. 

Peyton is crawling now as of this month and is all over the place! She started just a little here and there and then she would only crawl around the "play area" aka the living room but a couple days ago she discovered she could leave! Ahh! I rearranged the furniture, put up the baby gate we had in the garage to block off one entrance to the living room and we will be gating off the other opening this weekend! When Bailey started crawling I could just follow her around and the house was all baby proofed. This time around is completely different. Although Peyton's the only one crawling so far the others won't be far behind and Bailey leaves toys everywhere so I'm always worried about what she will find if I'm not right there. Today she found the dog food. 

Miss P is also pulling up to her knees and occasionally to her feet. She still thinks big sis is the funniest thing ever! 

Brookie is just so dang sweet I can't stand it! She is sitting really well now but hasn't figured out how to sit from laying or lay from sitting. She scoots on her belly when she really wants something and is getting up on her hands and knees some. She is so great with her sippy cup and today she picked up a piece of egg and put it in her mouth. 

Mister Andrew is my difficult child at the moment. As sweet as he can be I almost feel like he chooses to be a pill. He loves to jump in the jump-e-roo and would probably stay in there most of the day if he could. It seems to be his happy place. He isn't sitting yet and I think he gets frustrated. He rolls well and super fast but gets mad when he can't get places or things he wants. He is still spitting up really bad and just rolls around the living room and spits everywhere. We clean the carpets a lot now. He is not liking food yet but is finally eating baby food and loves yogurt! We're having a terrible time with him and sleep lately. He screams and screams for what seems to be no reason. We cannot figure it out. He's fine when we pick him up. He does this at night and naps. He, Patrick and I are not sleeping much. 

7 month photos.. 

And Bailey boo :-) 

Bailey is POTTY TRAINED!!!! I never thought it would happen. This kid is so stubborn and had no interest and would just pee wherever if I would try panties with her and refuse to go in the potty but it finally happened! I'm sure we'll have another accident or two but I am so proud to say it has been a couple weeks now and she's going on her own without assistance (most of the time!) Wooo hooo!! 

My little Things!

Babies 8 months...